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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29327574">Drinking off the Clock</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/midnightstreet/pseuds/midnightstreet'>midnightstreet</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Schitt's Creek (TV) RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>(kind of), 69 (Sex Position), Anal Sex, Drunk Sex, Fluid Sexuality, M/M, Oral Sex, Rimming, more like tipsy sex</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 10:53:40</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,768</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29327574</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/midnightstreet/pseuds/midnightstreet</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>David and Jake say goodbye.</p><p>Dan and Steve say hello.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Dan Levy/Steve Lund</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>RPFebruary Prompt Fest</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Drinking off the Clock</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">



        <li>In response to a prompt by
            Anonymous in the <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/collections/rpfebpromptfest">rpfebpromptfest</a>
          collection.
        </li>
        <li>In response to a prompt by
            Anonymous in the <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/collections/rpfebpromptfest">rpfebpromptfest</a>
          collection.
        </li>
    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This fic fills two prompts:</p><p>Shameless E-rated objectification of Steve Lund getting nicely laid. Choice of partner(s) is completely up to you (Dan, Noah, Emily, any of the cast)!</p><p>and</p><p>After Steve's final scene in the last season of SC, he invites Dan for a "whiskey." OR After Steve's final scene in the last season of SC, Dan invites Steve for a "whiskey."</p><p>Many thanks to my beta, high-seas-swan. All remaining mistakes are my own.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Oh fuck, <i>fuck</i> yes. Holy <i>shit</i>.”</p><p>Dan’s legs shook as they slid to the floor, his knees buckling as his feet touched solid ground. Fortunately, he was caught before he could topple over.</p><p>“Whoa there, you okay?”</p><p>Dan was pretty sure he’d had the English language fucked right out of him. Was ‘guh’ a word?</p><p>++++++++++</p><p>Steve Lund wrapped late on a perfectly dull Thursday afternoon. Dan, Noah, Emily, and the background actors stepped out of a set darkened to look like night into bright sunlight, squinting and reaching for their sunglasses. As Dan handed his leather jacket over to wardrobe, Steve and Emily traded hugs and promises to keep in touch. Noah stood around, plucking at his ‘sex shirt’, as it had now been dubbed, flexing his muscles and declaring that, once he got his outfit off, he was going to eat all the carbs he could get his hands on. Dan rolled his eyes, gesturing to the leather pants that were still clinging to his ass.</p><p>“I don’t think there’s enough baby powder on set to get me out of these. If you hear a scream, just leave me; I’d rather die with an illusion of dignity than have some hot fireman use the jaws of life to free my thighs.”</p><p>“Your willingness to die for your art is what makes me respect you.”</p><p>Noah plucked a donut off the craft service table, experimentally poking himself in his (very visible) nipple with it before walking off.</p><p>++++++++++</p><p>Steve had apparently decided to stick around while Dan and Noah did some pickups on the couch at Patrick’s apartment set. Stuffed full of pretzels, Dan was feeling as unsexy as he maybe ever had, practically waddling toward the car that sat waiting for them. Annie, having finished her ADR for the day, naturally chose that moment to bound over and poke at his tender stomach. </p><p>“And where are we off to now? Can I tempt you to come out for dinner with me and Emily?”</p><p>Dan responded with a whimper, clutching his stomach.</p><p>“Noah and Steve said they’d come too! It’ll be fun! And god knows you could use some fun in your life.”</p><p>He shot her a very David-esque glare. “God, you’re the absolute worst. Okay, fine, but I’m getting a salad with no dressing, and I don’t want to hear one word from you about it.”</p><p>“We’re almost to the finish line, Daniel; pretty soon you’ll be in L.A., Peloton in your living room, and Harry Styles on speed dial. Eyes on the prize.”</p><p>“Even my real sister isn’t this mean.”</p><p>++++++++++</p><p>Two hours and one salad (with just a <i>tiny</i> bit of dressing) later, Dan, Annie, Emily, Noah, and Steve sat tucked into a booth in a dark corner of one of their favorite Toronto bars. They had the misfortune of hitting the tail end of the post-work crowd, but the girls had worked overtime to convince some businessmen to vacate their valuable real estate.</p><p>Never underestimate the power of tits.</p><p>Dan had wound up pressed against Steve as Noah and Emily fought for legroom next to him at the outside edge of the horseshoe-shaped banquette. Annie leaving for the bar had left plenty of space for Steve to move over, but he didn’t seem to notice the battle going on to his left.</p><p>“You fucking troll, you’re lucky I love you. I’m going to the bathroom; tell Annie I want a shot of something sweet and liver-destroying.” Emily practically shoved Noah to the floor in her attempt to vacate their booth, searching around until her eyes landed on the sign for the restroom. They had been here a good seven or eight times before, yet she always seemed to forget the way.</p><p>Noah took things in stride, rubbing his bruised leg for only a second before heading off in search of Annie.</p><p>“No, it’s okay, we don’t want anything!” Dan called sarcastically to Noah’s retreating back as he left without asking the others what he could get them.</p><p>“Do you think he’ll bring us back anything?” Steve asked.</p><p>“Doubtful. Better make that beer last.”</p><p>Rather than listen to Dan’s very sage advice, Steve made a show of chugging the rest of his pint before reaching over to snatch the remainder of Dan’s drink.</p><p>“What the fuck?”</p><p>“So,” Steve began, completely ignoring Dan’s indignation, “how are you feeling, this close to the end?”</p><p>Dan bit his tongue, annoyed at having lost his drink, but undeniably unable to be angry in the face of Steve’s...Steveness.</p><p>On his next project, Dan <i>really</i> needed to cast less attractive people.</p><p>Grabbing the rest of Annie’s club soda to occupy his hands and mouth, Dan pondered the question. He was at once excited, sad, and terrified. Seeing his baby through to the point of critical acclaim was better than any drug he’d ever taken, but he dreaded the withdrawal that would come when it was all over.</p><p>“In denial, I think? What about you? Do you have anything lined up?”</p><p>“I wish, man. But who knows: maybe Jake will help me land something good. If that happens, I’ll send you a fruit basket.”</p><p>“I’m allergic to pineapple; you should probably write that down.”</p><p>Annie chose that moment to return, perching at the edge of the booth and nipping Steve on the neck. Like the devil-wrapped angel that she was, she had remembered to get drinks for them: another pint for Steve, and a negroni for himself.</p><p>Best. Sister. Ever.</p><p>“Steve, I’m so sad we didn’t get any more scenes together! How was your last day on set?”</p><p>Chuckling, Steve took a sip of his beer, glancing over at Dan so quickly he almost missed it before he returned his gaze to Annie on his other side. “Well, pretending to host an orgy was a challenge, but I think I ‘rose’ to the occasion.”</p><p>Dan and Annie simultaneously threw their wadded-up napkins at him. </p><p>“That was bad and you should feel bad,” Annie informed him with a decisive nod of her head. “I’m gonna go tempt Emily into some sexy dancing. You boys behave.”</p><p>With a flick of a nail to Dan’s forehead, she was gone.</p><p>“That hurt, you bitch!”</p><p>“Sack up, whiner!”</p><p>Steve laughed, staring into his drink as though the secrets of the universe were contained within before turning his attention back to Dan.</p><p>“So now that my time on the show — almost everyone’s time on the show, really — has ended, tell me: what made you cast me? Was this purely a looks thing or was there something else going on?”</p><p>Oh, this way lay danger.</p><p>“Well you, umm. I mean. The part called for…”</p><p>“It’s because I was hot, wasn’t it? You can admit it; I won’t be offended.”</p><p>Dan sighed, resigned. “It was because you were hot, yes. But, I mean, you <i>did</i> read your lines competently; I am shallow, but I’m not <i>that</i> shallow.”</p><p>Steve chuckled into his beer. “Good to know.”</p><p>Dan’s attention shifted from the glass to the man as Steve’s gaze turned decisively toward him.</p><p>“You know,” Steve offered, rubbing one ring-adorned finger over the rim of his glass, “it’s funny that you wrote this role that was so perfect for me. I mean, don’t get me wrong: I’m definitely not hosting orgies at my apartment…”</p><p>Dan chuckled to break the tension before taking a healthy sip of his cocktail.</p><p>“But Jake? You had no way of knowing, but he’s...very me.”</p><p>“Oh?” Dan encouraged, brave enough to speak but unwilling to pull his eyes from the water-stained table.</p><p>“No one ever asked me whether I was gay, or bi, or whatever. I guess you just got lucky; I think my being into everyone helped me with the role.”</p><p>Dan just about swallowed his tongue.</p><p>“I mean, it would have been really shitty of me to ask anyone their sexuality during the casting process. I knew Noah was straight because he thought he should disclose that. I never actually asked anyone, though, and I have no regrets about that.”</p><p>“That’s really cool of you, man. You should be really proud of what you created here, you know? Obviously, the writing was great, but this whole team you put together — it’s a great cast and crew. I wish I could keep playing Jake, but now that it’s come to an end, I’m just grateful for the opportunity to have worked for you.”</p><p>Oh. Fuck.</p><p>Was that Steve’s hand on his thigh?</p><p>“Honestly, I kind of regret not hooking up with as many guys as Jake clearly has; in real life, it doesn’t come up that often. I mean, I’d probably have to make a point of going to a gay bar; finding girls is just...easier.”</p><p>“When you look like you do, I think finding <i>anyone</i> is easier.”</p><p>Steve chuckled.</p><p>“Yeah, okay, that’s fair. But, like. I’m just this weirdo who’d rather climb mountains than go to a party. And let me tell you, the pickings on mountainsides in middle-of-nowhere Canada are pretty slim.”</p><p>“I’ll have to take your word for it.”</p><p>Noah chose that moment to come back to the table. He was loose in the way that said he’d polished off a beer or two while he’d been gone.</p><p>“Hey man. It was so good to see you again! Did you enjoy your time with us?”</p><p>“Oh absolutely. Very memorable.”</p><p>“Awesome. Disappointed you didn’t get to hook up with this?” Noah gestured to his own body, laughing. “At least you got to kiss Dan; he’s a great kisser.”</p><p>Steve’s eyes were drawn like a magnet to Dan’s lips. “Yeah, he really is.”</p><p>Dan kicked Noah under the table, glaring and arching an eyebrow.</p><p>Noah — god bless him — wasn’t too drunk to miss the signal. “Hey, good catching up with you, man. Maybe by our next project, we’ll actually wind up in bed together! I’ll see you later; Emily challenged me to a game of darts, and I can’t let her think I chickened out.”</p><p>Dan watched him go, then looked over to see Steve watching...him. He knocked back the rest of his drink in one gulp while Steve sipped slowly at his beer. He got closer, somehow, the intent unmistakeable.</p><p>“So I didn’t want to be unprofessional — I never would have done this during the show, what with you being the big dog.”</p><p>Dan scoffed.</p><p>“But...if you’re interested, I’d love to. Uh. Have a whiskey? With you.”</p><p>“A whi— oh. Oh, okay. Umm.”</p><p>Dan frantically looked around to be sure none of his friends were watching what was happening, playing some kind of prank on him. He spotted Noah taunting Emily near the dartboard, Annie gesturing to her jewelry while she talked to another similarly-bedecked woman at the bar.</p><p>“Uh. Yeah. Are you sure?”</p><p>“Dan, I think you’re really hot, I haven’t gotten laid in months, and you’re no longer my boss. I am very sure.”</p><p>+++++++++++</p><p>They left the bar after the obligatory goodbyes, all of his asshole friends giving him knowing looks. Dan ordered an Uber while Steve had a cigarette against the side of the building. It showed up in less than five minutes, cutting short the time he had to overthink what was happening.</p><p>A 15-minute ride brought them to Dan’s building, and a 2-minute walk took them into his apartment. As soon as the door closed behind them, Steve’s lips were on his neck, delicious beard scraping along Dan’s collarbone.</p><p>“Fuck. There’s. Umm. There’s a bedroom. Do you want to…”</p><p>Steve stopped halfway to giving Dan a pretty solid hickey. “Yeah, absolutely. Or. Do you want to have some actual whiskey first? I feel like we should.”</p><p>Whiskey. Yes. Dan could do whiskey. </p><p>“Yeah, okay. Why don’t you have a seat?”</p><p>Dan scurried into the kitchen, grateful for the chance to catch his breath. He had felt Steve chubbing up through their jeans and knew he’d need to be a <i>lot</i> more relaxed if this was going to happen.</p><p>His bar cart, thank god, held a half-full bottle of Lagavulin. Finding the appropriate glasses, he braced himself on the kitchen counter, trying to get his breathing under control and hoping Steve was far enough away to not notice what was happening.</p><p>“Hey, Ste— Steve? Rocks, or no?”</p><p>“Splash of water, if you don’t mind. Thanks.” Steve called back. </p><p>Right. Whiskey. Water. He could do this. Oh god, where were his condoms? Was he out of lube? Had he made his bed that morning? Dan ran a hand through his hair, then immediately regretted it. The incoming panic spiral flooded through his blood.</p><p>Suddenly, there was a warm weight at his back. “Fuck! Shit, sorry; was concentrating on pouring. Just...just give me a second.”</p><p>“Dan, hey. It’s fine, really. I’ll drink whatever you want to drink, whether that’s cheap beer or a cocktail with an umbrella in it. The drink isn’t the point.” Steve kissed down the back of his neck, and Dan melted.</p><p>“I just...okay, look, I’m so busy with the show, especially with this last season, that it’s been a long time since I’ve gotten la—. Since I’ve had a whiskey with anyone. And you are very sweet, and very attractive, and I don’t want to mess this up,” he said to the countertop.</p><p>Steve spun Dan around, cupping his jaw in those big, big hands. “That’s totally fine with me. If you just want to sit and talk, that’d be fine with me too, honestly. But really, I’d much rather you leave the drinks and sit down on the couch so I can blow you. That work for you?”</p><p>“Has anyone actually ever said no to that offer?”</p><p>Steve chuckled. “Nope.”</p><p>Dan took a few deep breaths. “Okay, you know what? Fuck it. Bedroom’s back that way. I’ll be right behind you.”</p><p>And thank god Steve listened. Dan definitely needed a minute or ten to get himself under control. After about a hundred deep breaths, he poured a single glass of whiskey, neat, and knocked it back before pouring another. He kicked off his shoes and followed Steve into the bedroom.</p><p>The sight he was greeted with was…</p><p>Holy <i>fuck</i>.</p><p>“You look like a fucking Greek god.” Welp, so much for his filter. How the hell was he supposed to control his mouth, though, when Steve was stretched out over his pristine white duvet, every inch of tanned skin and neatly-trimmed chest hair on display, huge — like, <i>huge</i> — cock front and center. He was lucky hadn’t choked to death, there in the doorway — if he was going to choke on anything, he’d like it to be the big dick he couldn’t tear his eyes from.</p><p>Dan took a fortifying chug from the glass in his hand.</p><p>“Hey, save some of that for me.” Steve scooted back on the bed, propping himself on the pillows before returning his hand to that gorgeous cock.</p><p>“God, please tell me you’re gonna put that thing in me. Honestly, it’s been a depressingly long time; I’m kind of a sure thing.” Yeah, filter still MIA.</p><p>“I’m up for whatever. You gonna stand there all night?”</p><p>No. No, he definitely was not. It had been...far longer than Dan cared to admit since he’d gotten laid, even longer since something that impressive — not made of silicone — had fucked him, and he wasn’t letting this opportunity pass him by. He stripped off his sweater, jeans, and socks in quick succession, kneeling up on the bed and tipping the glass of whiskey to Steve’s lips.</p><p>Steve drained the glass, handing it back to Dan to set down on the side table. “But yeah, I’d love that. When were you last tested? Can I get my tongue in you?”</p><p>“Shit. It’s been, umm. Seriously, don’t make me admit how long it’s been since I last got laid. But yeah, I got tested since the last time I hooked up with someone. Twice, because I’m paranoid. You?”</p><p>Steve sat up to nose along Dan’s jawline and left a trail of wet, sucking kisses all the way up to his earlobe, which he licked so delicately it made Dan’s toes curl. “Sorry, couldn’t help myself. And same. I go every three months — heh, I’m probably on the same schedule as Jake, and my last partner was before my last test. To be clear, I never fuck bare, but I really want to get you ready with my mouth without anything in the way, if you’re okay with that.”</p><p>God, Dan had hit the fucking jackpot.</p><p>“I trust you, yeah; I’m okay with that. Just...hang on one second.”</p><p>Dan backed up, hurrying to the kitchen to pour another finger of whiskey, remembering to add a quick splash of tap water this time. He stripped off his t-shirt before returning to the bedroom.</p><p>“I just need to hop in the shower. Drink your whiskey and give me five minutes.”</p><p>Dan raced to the bathroom, cleaning and prepping himself faster than he ever had. He wasn’t happy with his body, these days, no longer the borderline-twink he’d been in his youth, but figured Steve had seen him frequently enough to guess what was beneath his clothes. He took a deep breath and decided to leave his underwear behind on the bathroom floor.</p><p>Steve looked up as he returned, running his eyes over Dan’s body and licking his lips. Yeah, definitely the right decision.</p><p>“Fuck, come here. Wait, take this first —” he held out the mostly-empty glass “— then get that gorgeous ass up here. I mean, <i>wow</i>.”</p><p>Dan was trying not to seem too eager — he really, really was — but it had been so long, and he’d been riding such a high lately from finishing the show on a really confident note, sure in what he’d created, that he was willing to put his cards on the table, here. He downed the dregs left in the glass, setting it down, and got back on the bed.</p><p>“You do this much?” He teased. “Going to the apartments of guys you barely know?”</p><p>“Do we barely know each other? But no, I don’t; most of my experiences have been with women. Just the odds, you know, for someone who’s open to whatever.”</p><p>“Fair point.” Dan smiled down at him, finally laying his body down over Steve’s, their cocks suddenly rubbing together. “Shit, <i>shit</i>, kiss me. Please.”</p><p>Steve obliged instantly, bringing a big, strong hand up to cup Dan’s jaw and hold it in place; to coax Dan’s mouth open with his thumb. God, Steve’s tongue could do incredible things.</p><p>“Wow, okay, yeah, it’s been way too long since I kissed a guy off-camera.” While he spoke, he took Dan’s very interested cock in his hand, jacking him slowly. “Let’s...is this okay?” Steve urged Dan to lay down on his side, then flipped himself, head toward the end of the bed.</p><p>It had been years since Dan had tried this particular position (but then, it had been almost as many years since Dan had tried <i>any</i> position), but he was absolutely on board, wanting his mouth on Steve’s gorgeous cock as much as he wanted Steve’s tongue in his ass.</p><p>“Yeah, this works.”</p><p>Steve’s cock stood up from a patch of hair that, unlike his chest and stomach, wasn’t trimmed. Dan smoothed it down before taking him in his mouth, letting the head brush his palate. He was rewarded with a delicious moan that tingled as the vibrations met his hole.</p><p>“Fuck, Steve, yeah.” God, Dan was so on board. He pulled out all his best tricks, taking Steve deep as a tease before pulling off to mouth at the spongy head, exploring his way around the glans, then moving down to map every little ridge and vein. This position was absolutely inspired, creating a feedback loop of sensation from the rumbling noises they were both making.</p><p>It was Dan who had to pull off first, not because he couldn’t take Steve’s cock — he still had the skills he had picked up in his younger days, thank you very much — but because he desperately needed to be filled, and as talented as Steve’s tongue was, dipping in and out of his hole, sucking and nibbling and driving Dan insane, it wasn’t enough.</p><p>“Steve. Steve I need...I need your cock. Please.”</p><p>Steve pulled off Dan’s ass, dipping a finger in to tease. “Whatever you want, sweetheart.” The words slipped easily past his lips as he turned himself back to lie next to Dan.</p><p>“God, you really were the perfect choice for Jake,” Dan panted between kisses, “up for anything and considerate of your partners. Fuck, yes, give me your fingers. Oh, wait, hang on.”</p><p>Dan reached over to the nightstand, producing a condom and his favorite lube.</p><p>“Okay, yeah, just. Yeah.”</p><p>Steve kissed him one last time, delivering a sharp smack to his ass before he picked up the lube. “Want to get up on my lap? I’d love to kiss you while I finger you open.” He started jacking Dan’s cock with his right hand while his left, dripping with lube, found Dan’s hole.</p><p>“Jesus. I just...oh god, that feels good...I just used a toy last night,” (and the night before, and the night before that, but Steve didn’t need that information). “You can go a bit faster than that.”</p><p>“Hey, we’ve all got needs. I just bought a new vibrator for myself; can’t wait to break it out now that I’ve got some down time.”</p><p>Dan’s toes curled. “Fuck. Big one? Do you like ‘em big?” Dan trailed his hands down Steve’s chest, taking in his muscles, pinching his nipples and appreciating his chest hair. It had been so hard to not ogle him while they were filming at the motel a few years ago. Adding the image of Steve fucking himself on a fat toy nearly made him come on the spot.</p><p>Steve laughed a very Jake laugh. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”</p><p>“I— holy fuck, yes, harder — I would very much like to know, actually.”</p><p>“God, you’re fun. Let’s just say when I got that script, and read David and Patrick talking about a threesome, the first place my mind went to was. Well. Jake getting DP’ed. Appropriate initials, really.”</p><p>“Wow, that’s a mental picture. Thanks, gonna be getting off to that image for years.”</p><p>“I’d love to make it happen for real sometime. I mean, not with Noah, obviously, but if you’re available…”</p><p>“I can — <i>shit</i>, yes yes ohhh <i>right there right there</i> — I can make myself available.”</p><p>Steve sat up quickly, flipping them over before Dan had any idea what was going on. When the world came back into focus, he reached up, running his fingers along Steve’s biceps.</p><p>“Shit, you really are a specimen, aren’t you?”</p><p>Steve laughed and picked up the lube again. “I could say the same about you. By the way, I’m <i>very</i> into the chest hair. And, you know.” He trailed the backs of his fingers down Dan’s stomach, where his hair thinned, and lower still as it got thicker and thicker until he was raking his nails through the neatly-trimmed hair around Dan’s cock. “All of this. I’ve never been with a guy with this much.”</p><p>Dan cringed. </p><p>Steve noticed.</p><p>“Hey, no, please believe me when I say it’s really hot. Seriously. You’re gorgeous.” He smoothed a lube-covered hand up Dan’s cock again, then returned two fingers to Dan’s hole. “God, you take me so beautifully. How are you feeling?”</p><p>“Amazing. Go to town with the lube and I can take a third.”</p><p>“Shit, yeah, I can do that.” Steve fumbled with the lube bottle, squirting it down Dan’s thigh and all over the bed. They both laughed.</p><p>Dan couldn’t imagine David ever laughing — openly and unselfconsciously laughing — during sex with Jake. No, this was definitely him and Steve, just a couple of friends having fun.</p><p>“Okay, yeah, I guess that’s a good amount.” Steve laughed hysterically, resting his head on the ball of Dan’s shoulder while he tried to get himself back under control.</p><p>Dan raked his nails down Steve’s broad back, then around to a peaked nipple, plucking and rubbing at it. </p><p>“Shit, yeah, that’s so good. God, I’m so hard for you.”</p><p>Dan had to bite the inside of his cheek to hold back a particularly pathetic whimper.</p><p>After a couple of minutes being stretched open on three fingers, Dan was getting restless. “Steve. Steve, I’m ready. Please.”</p><p>“Yeah, okay, just give me a second.”</p><p>Steve withdrew his fingers from Dan’s ass, wiping them on the bedding and grabbing the condom. It was on him practically before Dan could blink.</p><p>“Top or bottom?”</p><p>“Normally I’d jump at the chance to ride you, but I’ve had just enough alcohol that I’m worried I’ll tip over and crack my skull open.”</p><p>“Well, we wouldn’t want that. Okay, don’t forget to breathe.”</p><p>Dan had just taken his cock in hand when he felt the fat head of Steve’s enter him. He breathed in sharply, waiting for the hint of pain to turn into mind-blowing pleasure.</p><p>Okay, maybe he had been a little overconfident about how much prep he needed. Oops.</p><p>“Steve. God, you’re so big. Jesus, it’s unfair, being nice and funny and hot and then having this— OH! Jesus <i>Christ</i>.”</p><p>Steve chuckled. “You okay? Tell me if I’m hurting you.”</p><p>He was, just a little, but Dan would absolutely not be telling him — the sharp feeling was gone in a second, and then it was like pressing on a bruise; It ached just enough to feel <i>so fucking good</i>.</p><p>After about ten insanely slow thrusts, their bodies undulating together and working Dan’s cock against Steve’s stomach, it was smooth sailing. He wanted it so badly — and had lost enough of his filter — that he was pretty well prepared to beg. </p><p>“Okay, hang on.”</p><p>And hang on Dan did — for dear life — as Steve picked up the pace, spearing him over and over on that impressive length. </p><p>“Jesus, I think I’m having an out-of-body experience.”</p><p>“If you’re still speaking in complete sentences, I’m clearly not doing my job.” Steve tilted Dan’s hips, somehow reaching even further inside him. Dan was letting out little high-pitched whimpers in no time, eyes rolling back in his head.</p><p>“Job...job good...yes good, yes.”</p><p>“Ah, there we go: barely coherent. Fuck, you feel so good on my cock. Can you sit up on my lap? Don’t worry, I’ll do all the work.”</p><p>It had only been. Umm. A small number of minutes? Yeah, he was pretty sure. (Maybe.) But Dan barely knew what day it was, let alone what Steve was asking of him. He only realized what the question had been after he’d already been hauled upright. Being moved around like he was some small, delicate thing was such an insane turn-on.</p><p>“Oop, there we go. Okay, yeah, this is good. Hi there.” Steve smiled at him so fondly, Dan had to close his eyes and bite his lip. This guy was amazing. </p><p>“Mm, hi yourself. I’m just gonna...yeah, okay, that’s incredible.” Dan threw one arm over Steve’s shoulders, using his right hand to hold Steve’s jaw as they kissed, slow and sweet. Steve had slowed down again, so that they were more rocking together than anything else.</p><p>“Hey, give me this hand, yeah?” Steve took the hand that had been on his face and brought it down and...backward?</p><p>Holy fuck, Steve was guiding Dan’s hand to his own hole, so he could feel himself stretched around Steve’s big cock.</p><p>Much as he was enjoying this slow, sweet slide; this grinding of his cock against Steve’s abs, feeling where they were joined had well and truly pulled him out of his sex-stupor. With new energy and focus, he planted his hands on Steve’s shoulders, got his knees under him, and started bouncing.</p><p>It was so insanely good, the way he was being filled. Steve began to meet Dan thrust for thrust until Dan had to wrap his fingers around the back of Steve’s neck to keep from falling over.</p><p>“I take it you like that?” Steve attempted a Jake-esque cocky smirk, then broke in a fit of giggles. Dan swatted him on the shoulder.</p><p>“This is amazing. God bless gravity. Shit, I’m gonna come way sooner than I want.”</p><p>“Gravity, huh? Oh, babe, have I got a plan for you.”</p><p>And that’s when this man — this fucking insane <i>sex god</i> of a man — lifted Dan off his lap, deposited him on the bed (uh, what the fuck?), then, before Dan could process anything more than the fact that his hole was clenching around nothing, <i>picked Dan up again</i>, urging him to wrap his legs around Steve’s waist. </p><p>Dan must have been a very, <i>very</i> good person in a past life.</p><p>Steve spun them around, slamming Dan’s back into the wall next to the door.  “It’s okay, just, wait, leg up for a second? Let me...ohhhh that’s it, fuck.”</p><p>They managed to get themselves situated, Dan once again getting that fantastic cock back inside him and putting as much of his weight as he could on Steve’s shoulders, using the wall for leverage.</p><p>“Yeah, okay, I think you just broke the top ten.”</p><p>The cocky bastard smirked. “Hmm. I’m not sure how much I have left in me. Maybe next time I can try to move up a few more spots.” Steve punctuated his words with a perfect thrust that hit Dan’s prostate dead on. Just like that, Dan was back to not being entirely sure where he was and what was happening. All he could do was hold on.</p><p>Thrust after thrust slammed him into the wall — he’d probably have bruises in the morning and was very much looking forward to them — while Steve licked and sucked and bit at his neck. Dan couldn’t do much with...really any part of his body...except make his hole as tight as he could for Steve. Not that the clenching wasn’t benefiting Dan just as much.</p><p>He was a generous person, okay?</p><p>Okay??</p><p>Finally he felt Steve’s thrusts get shorter and more irregular, and hung on, ready to slam head-first into what was absolutely going to be a spectacular orgasm. The thrusts all but stopped, the two of them back to rocking against each other, as Dan felt a hand urging his own downward. The fog in his brain cleared, and he spat in his palm, frantically fucking his own fist as Steve returned to nailing his prostate with very impressive consistency. He rubbed his thumb firmly under the head of his cock, squeezing and pulling as hard as he dared (probably harder than his future self would appreciate), then saw (literal) stars as he gave up pulse after pulse of come.</p><p>++++++++++</p><p>It was only after Dan’s feet had found the floor again that he even realized Steve had come. But given the blissed out look the guy was sporting, he was pretty sure Steve had no complaints about Dan’s lack of participation there at the end.</p><p>Dan could barely walk the two steps required to make it back to the bed before faceplanting, feet still on the floor. He hadn’t even realized Steve had left the bedroom until he felt a hand gently spreading his cheeks, followed by a warm, wet cloth sliding up his inner thighs and across his hole.</p><p>“So do you have, like, a Yelp page where I can leave a review or something? Five stars, or thumbs up, or whatever. Ten out of ten, would recommend to a friend.”</p><p>Steve laughed against the back of Dan’s neck. They both crawled up into bed, resting on top of the covers, talking and petting at each other until Dan’s world faded away.</p><p>++++++++++</p><p>Dan realized the flaw in Steve’s post-sex cleanup the minute he blinked awake and took stock of where he was and what had happened: going from pressed against Steve as he came, to face-down on the bed afterward, Dan was currently stuck to the duvet.</p><p>Fuck.</p><p>Worth it, though.</p><p>Steve was nowhere to be found, but Dan could hear the TV on in the living room and shoved his waking-up-alone morning-after panic back in its box. After more than a little struggling, quite a bit of pain, and many yanked-out chest hairs, he made his way to the bathroom for a shower, being extra careful with his tender, well...just about everything, really. Wow, going for broke in pursuit of a mind-blowing orgasm really came with consequences.</p><p>Dried off and in his soft robe, Dan padded to the kitchen and chugged two whole bottles of water straight out of the fridge before acknowledging Steve, who was giving him a knowing smirk.</p><p>“Let me guess: hungover?”</p><p>“Little bit, but mostly feeling the pain of getting glued to the bed by my own come. You?”</p><p>“Same, and same. I’m surprised the squeak I let out when I pulled myself off the duvet didn’t wake you up.”</p><p>“You totally took it like a man. So, breakfast?”</p><p>“I actually stole a banana and a granola bar. I didn’t want to leave you to wake up alone, and I know this sounds like a really lame excuse, but I actually have an audition in about, uh…” He checked his phone. “An hour? I promise I’m not blowing you off — you can call my agent if you don’t believe me — but I really need to get home for some new clothes and another reread of the script.”</p><p>Dan tucked a smile into his cheek. “Moving on so soon from our little show? No, that’s great; I’m sure you’ll nail it.”</p><p>“I appreciate it.” Steve walked into the kitchen, taking Dan’s breath away when he pinned him to the refrigerator and kissed the ever-loving fuck out of him, one hand teasing its way up under his robe to ghost along Dan’s soft cock. “I know you’re gonna do big things, but don’t forget us little people, yeah? We’ll have to do something again soon; I really do want to try for the top five.”</p><p>They wasted another 10 minutes there, kissing in the kitchen before Dan tore himself away. “Okay, no, I can’t let you miss this audition; you’re gonna do big things too, I know it.”</p><p>They walked slowly to the door. “That was some...excellent whiskey.” Steve gave Dan a big smile and a quick peck on the lips, then stepped across the threshold. “Call me next time you’re free; I could always go for another glass.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Redmond is staying with his grandparents during this, as he often did while Dan was busy with the show.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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